Ok, for all of you haters out there, here is how it went down:It was an overcast Saturday afternoon in Latham, NY 2 weeks ago. I was arriving back at my apartment complex, and I pulled into the parking lot in front of my building. I had a lot of crap to bring in to my apartment, and as I was stacking things up on my arms, I noticed a rustling of the bushes in front of my apartment. I walked up the stairs, and as I turned the corner, I saw the wierdest fuckin animal I have ever seen. It was like 5 feet tall, had really long skinny legs, a huge dark-colored body, and its head sat on top of a really long neck. I stood there dumbfounded as this thing was taking a shit (i shit you not) all over the patio in front of my door. It turned and looked at me, and there was a standoff for like 2 seconds before it took off and ran faster than I have ever seen anything run into the woods. Since I hadn't seen anything like it, I had no idea what it was. I called up Break Me Off A Piece Of That Kit Kat Bar, and she asked if it was a wild turkey. I had no idea, so I went on the computer and looked up a wild turkey to see what they looked like. The picture I saw online looked pretty similar to the animal I saw, so I assumed that it was a wild turkey. So, I filled up 7 buckets of soapy water and cleaned up all of the wild turkey crap in front of my apartment. I went to work the next day, and told everyone what happened to me. You would have thought I said I saw 56 unicorns having an orgy in front of apartment based on the way those stupid crackers reacted. Needless to say, I was the butt of many jokes around the office that I "must have been drinking wild turkey", or "are you sure you didnt see someone dressed in a turkey costume?" and other stupid crap like that. In a conversation with Shrimp Cracker, he noted that there was an escaped Emu running around the capital district not too long ago. I went back, and looked up a picture of an emu. Now I'm confused, cause the thing I saw looked like the picture of an emu also. I think it was an emu, but then again I'm not sure. It also kind of looked like an ostrich too. I need your help.
It's time to play "What Did Hendo See??". I need you to vote for the animal you think I saw that day. Leave your vote in the comments section, and whatever animal wins, that will be the definitive answer as to what I saw.
Wild Turkey:
Emu:
Ostrich:
5 comments:
Hendo, my dear, you saw an emu. They do not taste like chicken - more like very lean beef - but do indeed look very much like an ostrich. However, having suffered with this identity crisis all their natural born days, they do not appreciate the confusion, and have hired a lobbyist to push legislation protecting their status. Wild turkey???? Much too low to the ground - an insult to emus everywhere.
Hugs and kisses.
I'm so tired of all the goddamned stupid bullshit you guys put on this site. Emus? Inconsequential Top Ten Lists? Whats the point of the Internets when morons like you have access to it. Shit Al Gore created this to be a source of knowledge and a meeting of the minds and you use it to tell us that you found a lot of shit on your doorstep and think you saw a dinosaur leaving it. Fuck.
calm down, calm down, its not that serious. I'll come take a shit on your front door and we'll see how you like it bob uecker.
Bob Uecker - that's rather nice considering it comes from someone who clutters the internet with pictures of ugly birds. Besides I do recall seeing on espn that the Uecker just got a restraining order against a rabid fan. Too bad she didnt take a dump on his porch and run away.
maybe me and you can go down to bob euckers house together and we can both take shits in front of it. ill pick you up saturday night at 8. about the clutter, well, nothing i can do about that. my goal in life is to clutter the internet with as much useless crap as possible. Al Gore shouldnt have invented it if he didnt want morons like me posting asinine lists. if people dont like it, they dont have to look at them. Besides, where else can I talk shit about things I dont understand???
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